booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
