Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
