batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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