Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
Operation Purity has been aborted
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
Randomize
