and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Randomize
