I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
When are your genitals available?
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
