May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
