i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Randomize