Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
