we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize