I'll bet she douches with gravy.
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
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