Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize
