You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
