Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
