I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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