Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
There's a naked man in my car right now.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Randomize
