I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
