Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
