All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Randomize
