why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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