I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
