My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize