I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
I want to make a zoo with you.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
