a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
