I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
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