Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(217): View more from Illinois

I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.

Fav 14 2364 871
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(239): View more from Florida

Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?

Fav 5 3220 968
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(315): View more from New York

You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.

Fav 16 6621 957
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(913): View more from Kansas

Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.

Fav 15 3327 1142
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(425): View more from Washington

Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!

Fav 14 3378 1314
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(530): View more from California

She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential

Fav 5 3596 895
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(278): View more from Michigan

Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.

Fav 2 1480 680
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(718): View more from New York

Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome

Fav 1 82 16
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(908): View more from New Jersey

I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.

Fav 0 60 11
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