You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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