so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
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