i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
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