Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
If I die, sorry about rent.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
