Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
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