yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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