I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
Randomize
