so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
The adults are the big ones right?
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize
