Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
Randomize
