Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Randomize
