UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
