Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
You're a womanizer and a bitch.
That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
I would ride that face into the sunset
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize