mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
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