I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
