i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
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