somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
My bed smells like the plague
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Randomize
