ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
Randomize
