So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
