RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
