I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Randomize
