You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Randomize
