Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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