Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize