.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
