Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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