he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
Drake has all the answers
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Randomize
