if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
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