Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Randomize
