Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
