Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
Randomize
