bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
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