Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
Randomize