Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Randomize
