If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
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