Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Randomize
