I don't remember. Are we still dating?
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Randomize
