He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
Randomize
