can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
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