Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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