Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Randomize
