This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
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