butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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