God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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