i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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